I have been living with my mother for a long time. My father asked his mother that he was not soon after he was born. I have never met my grandfather, grandmother or relative. I thought that was such a thing. It was after a long time that I noticed that it was an unusual circumstance. I do not know when it was, but I remember having an older sister.
It is a faint memory like a dream, so I do not know if it is true. However, when I was small, when I told my mother about that, I was scolded badly for some reason. At that time, I was just moving. I think that there was never been one year in the same place. When asking the reason for the mother The answer “It’s being chased” comes back.
When asking “what are you chasing after”, you say “very frightening things”. No matter how far we ran, we will definitely pursue it. She said that “Black fellow first finds it.” The way of moving was also strange. When I get up in the morning, my mother suddenly gathers the luggage and is preparing to leave the house. Since it is equal to no household goods, preparation, etc. Will end soon.
Then, without leaving a greeting to the neighborhood, you leave home with that foot. It was like a hurry to move away from something on the spot. Mothers were meeting the so-called psychic ones everywhere. Psychic ones something like spells, ordered us various instructions and ordered them to obey them. But, was there no effect, our move continued steadily. One psychic person finally said such a thing. “It is impossible for me to purify what you possess, perhaps there may not be exorcists.”
When I was in elementary school fourth grade, I and my mother rolled into a temple. Because the priesthood there was taking local reputation with evil exorcism. We started living apart in the corner of the temple. Every day, I organized a zazen from early morning. I was made to remember sutra too. Sometimes, I bathed in water smoke and smoke from Mamoru.
The priest chanted the sutra like us everyday for us, repeated the ceremony of exorcism. Was the mother relieved of it, he had not moved anymore, kept staying at the temple. Becoming a junior high school student, I finally got used to living in one place. I also made friends at school and also studied casually. We also started club activities.
Then the life of the temple became disgusting. When I spilled that on my mother, my mother got angry with a terrible sword. If you were an old myself, you would have been surprised by the curtain’s surprise and followed the mother’s saying, but I was rebelling against that mother’s attitude, probably because I was just hit in the rebellious period.
- Mothers are obsessed with delusions.
- There is no spirit and so there is no point in what it is here.
- The priest of this temple is using us for a duck advertising his spiritual ability.
My idea at that time was roughly like this. Many opinions and knowledge that can be obtained at school and the world supported my feeling. The spiritual spirit against “spiritual things” that brought me inside was one that day swollen. Winter in high school third grader woke up with mother’s voice in the middle of the night. When I got out into the corridor, there was a priest and living residence in front of my mother’s room, looking inside. My mother complained about something by becoming semi-frenzied.
“The black guy has come.”
“It is no good.”
“I thought it was okay.”
“If I have to get away again.”
I was talking about such things as confusion. I thought that it began again, “Let me go!” I murdered my mother. The priest stared at me with scary eyes, but did not say anything. I got fed up and went back to the room and fell asleep. The next day, when I came back from school, a monkey altar was tailored to the courtyard before leaving.
In front of my surprising eyes, a mother dressed in white clothes chanted a sutra together with a priest at one side of the igami altar. I occasionally take a shower and head to the god***ite. I repeated it over and over. At first I was stunned and I was watching the sight, but soon I got stupid and returned to the room. However, even if you are in the room, you can hear something from outside.
Tired of being so tired, when I left the temple, I went to stay at my friend’s house. On the morning of the next morning, when I returned to the temple, surprisingly my mother was still doing the same thing. I tried to stop my mother, but it was obstructed by the priesthood and other buddies, and was deceived as “Where have you been going yesterday?”
I was frightened, I went to school by returning to the room, ignoring the obstinate position. Such a thing lasted about three days, the exhausted mother fell down, and fell asleep in her room. The next day my mother died with a head in the room. I felt anger at the same time as sorrow. I thought this temple was due to driving her mother to suicide.
The amateur’s mother continued his arrogance for three days, exhausting exhaustion of both body and mind, causing abnormalities in the spirit, finally breaking his own life. I was convinced that time at that time. After the funeral ceremony, I caught a priest, accused me of my mother, left the temple to jump out of my mind about the life in the temple. I dropped out of high school and changed my job and spent all over the place.
I started driving a truck after I got a large license, but I did not settle down in one place. It may be that the relocation diary as of age was drawing a tail. A turning point came to me like that. A horse of a work company and a horse got together with a girl who was a part time job, and a child was made within a dating relationship. I already cohabited, and at that time I was in a good economic and my earnings were stable, so I decided to get married more.
It seems I was worried by the parents over there that I was a lonely person in the forefront, but the marriage was decided smoothly because there were already established facts that the children were able to do and a solid life to date. Soon a child was born, I also began to realize that I was settling down in this place.
Because it was a long distance driver, I often vacated the house, but when I was playing with my wife and children on a holiday, I felt warmth of a family I had never tasted. At that time I was hoping that this happiness would last forever. But that was not the case. One day, I woke up suddenly in the middle of the night, I felt somewhat disgusting and could not sleep.
Next to my wife and my 2 year old child are asleep. While looking at the figure for a while, I felt something like a gaze and looked at the corner of the ceiling. There was a black shadow there. The room is slightly bright with the bean ball light, but only that one is dark as if light does not reach. As I looked into my eyes, I could see something wringing in the back.
I suddenly remembered my mother’s words. “Black fellow finds first. Black fellow has come” I tried to shake off a stupid idea, but it did not go well. While sleeping I looked at it and waited for the morning. The black shadow gradually faded as the outside brightened. I headed for work with lack of sleep. The black shadow also appeared the next night.
As usual, I feel like seeing staring from there. I could not sleep that night. The next day my work was off, so I went to the hospital. The doctor suggested, “It is a hallucination coming from stress, how about resting work for a while?” When I said “I can not do it”, I got some medicine. Despite taking medicine, I woke up again in the middle of the night. Looking at the corner of the room, a black shadow is looking at this again. It seemed like me being bigger than the previous day.
Suddenly when I turned around looking back at the back, a samurai standing in armor was standing in the living room. I can not see the face with a face mask, but I feel a sign that I am watching this. I screamed at scratch. While desperately telling myself, “I am hallucination, it is a hallucination,” I saw my wife and children. An old lady wearing a white kimono sat on a wife’s futon and stared at me.
I lost consciousness. My illusion worsened day by day. Not only armor warriors and old women but also small bears like dogs and small children became visible. Even if I consulted a doctor, I was told that “I am hallucination, I have to take a day off from work anyway.” “It is also possible that old memories of your mothers and temple may have created a typological ghost image.”
Certainly, I will say that if I told you so. I got medicine again and left the hospital. I thought about taking a break from work and rowed my bicycle. When I was waiting for a signal at a crosswalk across the main street near my house, I saw my wife coming from here in front of me with my child in front. It seemed to be on my way to go shopping. My wife found me, and smiled and waved her hand.
The child who saw it also waved his hand towards me. The bicycle with two people crossed the intersection at the same speed as it was. The signal was still red. In front of me, my wife and child were run over by a straight track. Memory in the future is terribly ambiguous. Hospitals, police officials, parents of my wife, various people appeared in front of me, but I can not remember what I was talking to and what I told you at all.
When I noticed it, in the evening, I laid a futon for three in my bedroom, lay down at my place, and I was looking at the futon without my wife and children in blur. I think that tears did not come out strangely. I saw a shadow when I looked at the ceiling. However, I did not care about such a thing. If it turns around, there are also armor warriors and old women.
I felt as if what it was. I felt no fear. Also, I saw an empty futon. That old woman was sitting in my wife’s futon. At that time, my emotions came up. It was terrible anger and sorrow. Why are you there? It is only my wife and children that I can stay there. It is only the family that I want you to stay here. My sister who does not know whether my wife and children, mother and father, or not.
Perhaps I shouted and it might have been rampant, but as the morning came, the room remained as it was, with three pairs of futons lined up in order. More than ten years have passed since then. I keep rushing throughout the country while doing long distance drivers as usual. It will be 36 this year, but I am still single but I am not going to get married. I will continue this life until I die.
As usual, the psychic phenomenon is negative. I think that time also happens to be a product of hallucination and accident. I do not believe in the world after the death or the grudge, I do not want to believe. As long as we die, if everything is lost consciousness, feelings, memories, there is not such an easy thing. But, if there really was a world after death, and I became a ghost, in the other world, I will find the spirit who robbed my family and beat me.